Parashat Naso

Naso 5768/2008

This week's parsha deals with one of the basic human emotions, that of jealousy. The Aseret Hadibrot (10 Commandments) conclude with the instruction not to 'covet', which we understand as the need to control and overcome our instinct to want that which belongs to others. The jealousy spoken of in this parsha is not quite the same. Perhaps it is better translated as 'possessiveness'.

A strange ritual and oath of purgation is described that a woman might be obliged to undertake if her man suspects her of unfaithfulness. The whole process is 'ugly' and humiliating, both to the woman who might have to undergo it and to the man who would so publicly have to admit that his wife had betrayed the marriage. It is not surprising that this ritual was abolished by Yochanan ben Zakkai. The only recourse a man has if he believes his wife is unfaithful is to divorce her.

However, dissolving a failed marriage is not the purpose of the inclusion of such a ritual in the Torah.  Indeed, it is quite the opposite. Commentators and midrashim explain how the inclusion of this procedure was used to alleviate jealousy. Before the ritual came into effect, the husband was required to forbid his wife, in the presence of witnesses, to see any man of whom he was suspicious. This means that his fears and insecurities had to be verbalised. Of course, if she then persisted in seeing the man in question, he had the option of enforcing the ritual of 'bitter waters'. She, of course, could avoid the ritual if she admitted to the infidelity. In other words, her willingness to proceed would indicate her certainty that the 'test' would prove her innocence. According to the Torah, the innocent would be vindicated - and, furthermore, a man who himself is guilty would not be able to impose the ritual on his wife.

Rather than this ritual being used to expose infidelity, the presence of it in the Torah often meant that a husband's jealousy and suspicions were aired before the damage was irreparable. While it would be better if men did not harbour jealousy at all, the reality of it needs a remedy and the Torah both recognises the problem and proposes a strange but apparently effective solution.